about

welcome to Tummymuffin.net!

although i post as "hadashi," my name is Erika.   i lost four children to miscarriage, each one right before the end of the first trimester.   in between pregnancies, i experienced enough difficulties in getting pregnant that i was considered to be dealing with infertility as well.

if you've found your way here, it is most likely because you or someone close to you has experienced pregnancy loss.  my heart goes out to you, and i hope that what you find here will be of help in some way.  i began this blog years ago when i was innocently, joyously, finally pregnant with my first baby, whom we called "Tummymuffin."  when i lost her, i kept writing.  this blog became an honest, real-time journal about dealing with the resulting grief, disappointment, challenges, and healing that follow a pregnancy loss.

while my fourth Tummymuffin was carried to term and delivered as a healthy baby boy, this miracle doesn't mean my journey is over, or that my story has a "happy ending."  there are unique experiences that come with pregnancy and motherhood after loss, and i'm continuing to write about them here.

if you want to read my story and watch me experience my grief and healing as it happened, you'll need to click through the archives and read in reverse order.

if you are looking for posts about a specific topic, you can search the blog using the box on the sidebar.  the labels i have tagged posts with appear under the search box.  in addition, i have listed various websites i have found useful as resources for dealing with pregnancy loss, grief, and healing.  the "advice" page has direct links to some posts that directly answer questions about pregnancy loss.  finally, if you got here because of my posts on what to expect with misoprostol (cytotec) or an MVA (manual vacuum aspiration) -- two common post-miscarriage procedures -- you can find those links on the sidebar too.

questions? comments? suggestions? just want to talk about your experience?  contact me directly at: hadashigirl *at* gmail *dot* com.
use this address also if you want to ask for permission to quote or reprint anything you found on this blog. 

i wish you much peace and strength in your journey towards healing and in your hopes for family-making!